Self Help: How to stop anxiety
How to Stop Anxiety Controlling your Life
When anxiety controls your life, it doesn’t just feel uncomfortable - it feels like it takes the important moments away from you.
It can start from the moment you wake up. Or it can hit you like a wave out of nowhere. That tightness in your chest. The racing thoughts. The heaviness that can make even getting out of bed feel impossible. “How can I possible face today feeling like this ?”
Some days, the simplest things - stepping outside the door, meeting a friend, even answering the phone - feel like mountains too high to even contemplate. Like your inner batteries are draining. And the worst part is, nobody else can see the battle you’re fighting. On the outside, you might look “fine” or a bit tired. But inside, your mind and body are screaming for safety.
Anxiety isn’t just a fear. It’s your body’s defence system turned up too high, too often. Your subconscious defending you from things it thinks are threats. Anxiety lives in the ‘unknown’ - in the ‘what ifs’. It’s in these moments your subconscious is convinced something bad will happen or is happening right now and it will do everything it can to get you to step away from what it thinks is a threat. It’s there to protect you… but when it gets stuck, it can hold you hostage instead.
If you’re living with anxiety, you already know how heavy it feels, the overwhelm, the exhaustion, the constant weight of carrying a ‘fear’ you can’t always explain.
But here’s what I want you to know: you don’t have to carry it forever. There is a way of soothing these anxieties - and believe me, it’s not from just ‘talking’ about it.
This is the heart of my work. I help people safely go to the root of their anxiety. This may be a memory or an emotion and we change how the mind sees and stores it, so the subconscious no longer has to treat it like a threat. We gently soothe the cause - not just the symptoms - so your body can finally exhale. And once that weight begins to lift, you can start to see life differently again. It’s not that you magically forget or are numb to the past … It’s just your mind no longer registers such a high threat level to those moments and not triggering such a high defence response.
As you know, life won’t stop there there will always be challenges in life. So now you have some mindset space, let’s arm you for the future. Alongside the deeper work, I give you practical tools tools for the moments anxiety tries to take over, but also tools that build real resilience for your future. Tools that help you feel grounded, safe, and steady in the moment, but also tools that fundamentally change the way you see and handle situations - so life no longer feels like a constant fight for survival.
Simple Tools to Help Calm Anxiety
While deeper work is often needed to truly ease anxiety at it’s root, there are some simple ways you can calm your mind & body when anxiety feels overwhelming.
Here they are! These soothing tools you can keep with you forever - getting more powerful the more you use them and become comfortable with the process. Give them a try, they are safe and easy to learn.
1. Breathing for Safety
Anxiety speeds everything up your heart, your breath, your thoughts. Slowing your breath signals to the body that you are safe.
Try this:
Breathe in gently through your nose for a count of 4.
Hold for a count of 2.
Breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of 6.
Repeat for 2 - 3 minutes.
As you breathe, quietly remind yourself:
“I am safe. I am here. My body can let go.”
This longer exhale helps switch your nervous system from “fight or flight” into a calmer state.
2. Grounding Through the Body
When your mind is racing, It can feel like your legs are no longer connected and you may feel very unstable. Grounding brings you back into the present moment. Start at your toes and slowly work your way up to the top of your head. As you focus on each part of your body, tense it gently as you breathe in, then release as you breathe out. Imagine the heaviness leaving your body with each release. Start by focusing on your toes and give them a wiggle … breathe and move up.
When you get to the top, you can quietly say to yourself:
“I release what I don’t need. I am steady. I am here in this moment.”
3. Tapping for Release (EFT Point)
On the side of your palm (the fleshy part beneath your little finger), gently tap with two or three fingers from your other hand. Tap steadily for 20–30 seconds while focusing on what you are feeling.
As you tap, you can say to yourself:
“Even though I feel anxious right now, I am safe. I accept myself. I choose to be strong enough to get through this.”
Repeat this as many times as you need, slowing your breathing as you tap.
These techniques won’t erase anxiety overnight, but they give you space and something to ease the feelings in the moment - a sense of safety, control, and relief. With practice, they also strengthen your ability to calm yourself when anxiety rises.
And when you’re ready, combining these tools with deeper therapeutic work with your coach can be truly life changing and freeing!
The truth is, you deserve more than just surviving. You deserve to feel safe in your own body. To wake up without the heaviness. To live the life you want, not the one anxiety allows. By addressing your mind & body. There is a way forward.
If you’re ready to take that first step, I’m here to help. Let’s build the safety, strength, and freedom you’ve been searching for. Together.
I’m just one message away……….
